moon in silver falls

My heart is an open wound that grows with each breath, each beat. I feel it inside deepening, threatening to burst through my self. I hardly know where to begin to heal myself. I cannot stop my heart to keep it safe, stop it from becoming jaded from pain. Time stand still. Time move on. Which will bring me closer to closure? Our stories fade, our memories lighten and I cannot bear the thought of losing the freshness of us.

Once you were near and I could lay a hand out to touch you in the cool dark, in the warm light. Now you are somewhere else and I am here reaching out to that emptiness that once was you. My arms ache from the lack of you. I try to hold on to myself and feel alive inside but I am not the same as I once was with you. Cruel time that plays such tricks. Sometimes when I am here, I find I am waiting for you to meet me. And my mind reminds me all too late that you will not come. It is my hope not yourself that hangs in the air tenderly caressing me.

It is your joy and tenderness I miss.  And the silliness of us. And that beautiful comfort of knowing that you know me. I find it hard to give you up with no will to choose to leave. And I find it harder still believing that I am so easy to leave.

My heart is an open wound that bleeds with each sunrise. I feel its raw life flowing, promising a new day and like the rising sun I cannot hold it still. You say I should rise out of this like the dawn but like the dawn those few moments of fierce being fade into the tamed light of day. I cannot hold my heart back. She is untamed like a storm that breathes itself into being: potent yet vulnerable.

Moon in silver falls –
Rushing in dreams
Breathing soft memories –
Your sounds.

At night I feel you close, a breath away and turning to hold you – I cannot see where you have moved in the dark. The dark covers you and I am alone. And the truth of it all is that I miss you. Is it so difficult to believe that I should love you still? I am full with dreams. They move inside me under my skin close to my surface.  My soul remains gentle at the core and someday I will return to myself whole.

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